


right choice

by ksyy



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Childhood, Eventual Happy Ending, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Light Angst, M/M, Platonic Soulmates, References to Depression, Romantic Soulmates, Sad, Sad and Happy, Sad with a Happy Ending, Self-Harm, Soulmates, TsukkiYama Week 2020, Tsukkiyama Week, Writing on Skin, it looks ansgty bUT there's a happy ending i swear, until some point bc they fall in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:35:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26107315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ksyy/pseuds/ksyy
Summary: In a world where discovering who your soulmate was is considered one of the greatest things you could ever do, Tsukishima was seen as weird. Not because he was weird, but because he hated the idea of going out of his way just to know a random person.Until, when he's 11, his so-called soulmate starts to write him through their shared skin and he doesn't bother to answer, although the messages and doodles make him smile a little.Until, when he's 14, deep cuts appeared on his wrist that weren't done by him, and he regrets all those years that he let his soulmate suffer alone.
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei & Yamaguchi Tadashi, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 8
Kudos: 311
Collections: TsukkiYama Week 2020





	right choice

In a world where discovering who your soulmate was is considered one of the greatest things you could ever do, Tsukishima was seen as weird. Not because he was weird, but because he hated the idea of going out of his way just to know a random person. It was meaningless, and he didn't want to date, nor marry, he didn't want to love someone, much less if this person wasn't chosen by him.

He was taught that as you grow up, you and your soulmate will share more than just a skin where you can write. Sometimes it was thoughts, sometimes feelings, sometimes a song. But Kei didn't care about any of this, he didn't want someone being so invasive. And if someone rejected the idea of having a soulmate, they wouldn't share anything more than just skin. So Tsukishima did his best to make it clear to the universe that no, he didn't want it. No soulmate for him, thank you.

When his soulmate started writing to him, he was eleven. Tsukishima pitied whoever his soulmate was because they seemed to love the idea, while he truly despised it. They always wrote things like " _Hope your day is going well!! 💕_ " or " _I wish I could meet you!!_ ", and he never bothered to answer, even if they made him smile a little. He always wore long-sleeved shirts to hide all the messages and cute doodles, too embarrassed to explain them to anyone.

He was 12 when his soulmate started to write him less frequently, and he was surprised that he missed it when he spent an entire day and didn't receive any hearts on his wrist. He quickly overcame it and was happy that his soulmate finally gave up, until they started to share songs with him. Tsukishima hated it because while they listened to pop, he liked rock better. He couldn't focus on a test because Spice Girls kept playing on his head non-stop and he almost failed it. One day, he was doing a presentation and Ariana Grande came to his mind out of nowhere, and he felt like punching whoever this person was.

Apparently, they were the one who shared the songs with him, and not the other way around because one day he received a message, after months receiving nothing.

_Are you dead? Please answer me if you aren't :(_

Of course, Tsukishima didn't answer. He wasn't going to give hope to his poor soulmate who believed they would fall in love and live happily together. He was not that cruel. It would be better if they just give up, and it was better if they thought he was dead.

More days and not even a new message.

He was starting to believe they finally gave up when, late at night, something appeared on his skin.

_I think you're dead. I don't really know how I should feel about it, but I will use this as a diary from now on!! It's cool to think that someone is receiving all of this :D_

He cursed to himself. Great, now his skin would be full of ink and big texts. He couldn't stand the thought, and not even bothered to read it, but when he was bored he decided to do so, and it became a habit. Every night he would go to bed and check his wrist, to see how the day of his soulmate was. With time, he discovered his soulmate was a boy around his age because he wrote about his classes and they were studying the same things. He discovered too that he liked stars, volleyball, drawing, and reading. He loved his parents, since he talked about them all the time, and had a dog. Probably he had freckles too since sometimes some dots would appear on his hand with a number by their side, like he was counting something. And he was bullied, but that didn't seem to affect him at all. Tsukishima thought it was fun to do something like a game of his "skin diary", a game of guessing what type of person this boy was. But even so, he didn't want to meet him. He didn't want to give him hope.

He was 13 when his soulmate suddenly stopped writing for days. He knew the boy liked to write down about his day and would forget sometimes, but a week without receiving anything? He never skipped more than two days. Tsukishima pretended he didn't care. Why should he care for this random person who he didn't even know? He kept repeating it in his head.

Until the ink appeared on his skin.

_my father died._

Tsukishima didn't care, right? He didn't care about how small the message was when his soulmate would usually write long and detailed descriptions. He didn't care about the period, that his soulmate said he hated and preferred exclamation points, and that added such a formality to this, something his soulmate had never done before. Of course, he didn't care... right?

_today was bad._

_i cried, again._

_mom is saying it's my fault._

_they're bullying me again._

_these bruises hurt._

_maybe it really was my fault._

_i'm pathetic, right?_

Day after day, those were the messages Kei read when going to bed. He missed the cheerful boy that wrote how he liked a movie he watched with his parents on his entire forearm, the boy who dotted his entire arm, trying to count his freckles. It was after some weeks that he realized he cared way more than he should. But how could he not care when his skin was often full of bruises, that didn't hurt at all for him, but did for his soulmate? How could he not care when the cute, happy messages that often made him smile at how silly they were turned so small and cold?

And even if he cared, why couldn't he say anything back?

He was scared. His soulmate would probably just be mad at him for not saying anything for so long and doing it out of nowhere when he was so down. Maybe he would think Tsukishima pitied him, what wasn't the case. Besides, Tsukishima wasn't the best to help someone when he was feeling down, so he just watched. For months. Months that probably were a living hell for his soulmate and he didn't do anything to help him because he was too afraid of making things worse.

He was 14 when he was the most afraid he ever was in life.

That day, there was no message at night. Just like the day before. So he went straight to bed.

But when he woke up, he froze.

_i wish i could die_

These five small words were written on his hand.

He pushed the sleeve of his sweater, revealing cuts on his wrist that didn't hurt for him, but they were there. Vividly and fatal.

What if he was dead? Or in the hospital? What if he survived, but did it again and succeeded in taking his own life?

Tsukishima couldn't stay quiet anymore. He had to do something before it was too late, because the thought of losing whoever this person was, who he kinda hated for singing pop songs while he was in class and for making his entire arm a mess of inks and scribbles, and somehow he still cared for him and missed the cute person he was. He didn't want him to suffer.

He felt an urge to write his soulmate. He couldn't wait any longer.

_are you okay?_

That was all he managed to write on his palm, a visible place. He was nervous, he knew his soulmate would definitely hate him, but he needed to know if he was fine.

So he waited again. And for days he didn't get an answer.

He was starting to get scared that his soulmate died and he felt hopeless and guilty because he could have done something. Anything. And he was too much of a coward and just avoided it.

Every day he rewrote the same three words, not letting the ink fade away and expecting any sign of life.

After a week, that for Tsukishima seemed like a year, he received a message during his class.

_i can't believe you wrote after 3 years and i thought you were dead you asshole_

He smiled, relieved that he was at least alive. The message wasn't as cute as the ones he used to receive months before, but it made him happy nonetheless. He grabbed a pen and answered back.

_i don't like the idea of having a soulmate. and you didn't answer my question._

The answer came almost instantly.

_neither do i anymore and yes i'm fine, unfortunately_

_we can still be friends you know_

Friends. It wasn't a bad idea. If he didn't want to have his soulmate be with him and his soulmate didn't want it too, they probably would be good friends, right? Yes, probably.

_seems good to me._

He watched as the ink appeared on his skin.

_haha yeah_

_now tell me about you, i told you about myself for the past years!! :(_

Tsukishima smiled at the exclamation points, noticing how much he missed them. Then he told his soulmate about the things he liked, why he never answered him back and how his musical taste tormented him. In return, his soulmate told him vaguely about his family situation and Kei was rather worried that his mother blamed him for his father's death. Kei told him he shouldn't care about it because it surely wasn't his fault, and received a smiling face back.

At the end of the day, Tsukishima had ink all over this body. Hands, arms, legs, and even feet covered in words and doodles.

They couldn't write their own names because for some reason the universe didn't allow it, so they decided nicknames.

Tsukishima was called Tsuki, because in Japanese it meant moon, which shocked him because it was too close to his real name. His soulmate said he would be the moon and he just accepted it because he knew he wouldn't accept another name, stubborn as he discovered he was. His soulmate was called Hoshi, because it meant star and Tsukishima said that his freckles probably looked like stars.

After that day, they started to write to each other more frequently. In class, that they happened to have at the same time, they played tic-tac-toe and the hangman game and discovered that both of them were sarcastic and salty since the winner always picked up on the loser. Tsukishima started to help Hoshi whenever he had his breakdowns and felt like doing the wrist thing again. He discovered it helped him a little, and he would write about stars and constellations when he needed to distract himself from the mess his house was. Kei didn't mind anymore, because at the same time he knew that he was doing something good, he learned about the stars. And about Hoshi's freckles too, because he would often trace the constellations using his own freckles as reference and Tsukishima was curious, even if he didn't want to admit that.

Tsukishima was 15 when he knew he noticed he wanted to meet his soulmate. He didn't want to have any romantic feelings, just being friends with his soulmate was enough, because Hoshi looked like a person he would get along with, after all, they were soulmates for a reason. And he was curious to know who he was, listen to his voice and see if he was the same way he was when writing on his skin.

Tsukishima was also 15 when he met Yamaguchi Tadashi. He was passing by when Yamaguchi was trying to defend a boy who was getting bullied, but instead, he got a cut while trying to protect himself from the little bullies, who were kids too. Tsukishima saw the scene and couldn't help but smirk at how funny it was.

"Pathetic." he said to the boys, leaning on the wall, and watched as the boys got scared at his face and run away.

Tadashi laughed, not noticing the word was directed at him too.

"Thank you. I'm Yamaguchi Tadashi by the way. You are?"

"Tsukishima Kei." he said, his voice sharp as a knife. The kid who was being bullied ran away, the two of them left alone.

"Tsuki..." Yamaguchi murmured, Kei froze. Only his soulmate called him that.

"What?"

"Oh, nevermind. A friend of mine is called Tsuki. I will call you Tsukki then, your name is too long." he said while searching for the boy who ran away.

"We don't even know each other. Why would you call me like that?"

"Who knows, you seem nice." the boy laughed again.

_Nice._

Oh, Tsukishima wasn't described as nice for such a long time. Maybe he made a mistake by helping out Yamaguchi, maybe the freckled boy was too stupid to not notice that he wasn't nice.

Kei let out a "Tch" and went away, not even looking back. But he didn't expect the same boy to keep appearing wherever he was.

First, it was in his class. Tadashi was new at the school, and Tsukishima as the class president had to give him a small tour around the place, the boy talking non-stop and he pretending to not be listening.

Then, during lunch, Yamaguchi sat with him and disturbed his precious time alone. He almost shouted at him, but for some reason didn't, and both of them stayed there, not talking at all, just making each other company.

At the end of the class, he discovered that both of them lived in the same neighborhood and that his route was the same as Yamaguchi's for a long time before they parted ways.

Days passed and Yamaguchi kept trying to befriend Tsukishima. Little by little, Kei let him stay and they became good friends. Even if he didn't talk much, Tsukishima truly enjoyed having Tadashi by his side. He was a good person, loud and quiet at the same time, respected his personal space and liked some of the things he liked too. And, the most important, he reminded Kei of his soulmate.

He was 16 when he started to consider that Yamaguchi could be his soulmate. From the same nickname to the same jokes, sarcastic tone when writing, and the ridiculous love for pop songs. There were scars on his wrist, that he never talked about, but Kei remembered well how the cuts his soulmate did look like. And they matched.

Tsukishima couldn't do anything but try small things, like writing to his soulmate something like "Look to your right" or "Now your left" while they were in class, not bothering to explain why and letting his soulmate confused. He did it just to see if Tadashi turned his head.

He did.

But still, did that mean anything? He needed to see it with his own eyes. Both him and Yamaguchi never talked that much about their soulmates because they didn't believe that, so it would be a problem to bring up the topic out of nowhere. So he did a small test.

It was a math class. He pretended his glasses were fogged and he needed to clean it. He didn't see from far, so he called Yamaguchi to help him.

"Hey, Yamaguchi. Could you tell me which are the chapters and pages for the test?" he asked, feigning his worry about it.

"Ah, yes! It's chapter 2, pages 45 to 78, and chapter 3, pages 86 to 103."

Tsukishima wrote it on his palm, the most specific way he could so he would be sure that it was his handwriting.

_c2 45 78_

_c3 86 103_

Next to him, Yamaguchi murmured a small "What the hell" while looking at his hand.

Tsukishima felt his heart race.

Maybe it was him. And it made sense.

He needed to see it.

"Yamaguchi, give me a pen." he said, right when Tadashi's right hand were grabbing a notebook, so he would give him the pen with his left hand. The one Tsukishima wrote.

Yamaguchi gave him the pen, and when Kei was grabbing it he opened his fingers, revealing his palm, where he could perfectly read the same as on his own hand.

_c2 45 78_

_c3 86 103_

"Oh? It's my soulmate. Sometimes they do it."

Tsukishima couldn't resist to say,

"I do it just to make you irritated because it's funny to see you answering back with your doodles."

"What?" Tadashi said, his cheeks blushing and his face totally confused at the same time.

"You're Hoshi." Kei was somehow relieved that it was Tadashi, and saying Hoshi didn't sound good to him anymore.

Yamaguchi gasped, his mouth opening and closing many times before he finally said

"Tsuki? You're the Tsuki I talked with since I was 10 or something?" he asked, still confused.

"And the same asshole that didn't answer you for three years."

Tadashi started laughing way too loud and immediately the teacher told them to get out of the classroom, and Tsukishima was quite happy that it happened because he would have at least some time to talk with Yamaguchi.

"I can't believe it's you. No, I mean, I can, you're both... you're... ugh. You know, you are not much different personally than what you are when writing."

"You're softer personally.".

"What?" Tadashi blushed "Are you going to flirt with me personally now too?"

Tsukishima stopped walking, Tadashi by his side, waiting for him.

"What do you think about soulmates, Yama?" he asked.

"I don't really believe in it... So don't worry, I won't do anything-"

"But we could try." Tsukishima said, surprised at his own words.

"Oh" Yamaguchi giggled "Weren't you the #1 soulmate hater?"

"I don't really care if it's you that's my soulmate. I've been liking you for some time now, to be honest." he confessed.

"Me too..." he answered after some time, shocked at Tsukishima. He seemed like he didn't believe that, his wide eyes a little worried. And suddenly, he grabbed Kei's arm and pulled him to a small room that was empty and only had brooms, closing the door behind him.

Tsukishima couldn't say nor question anything before his lips were clumsily pressed by Tadashi's soft ones. His shock went away as soon as he gave in to the kiss, holding Yamaguchi closer to him and never wanting to let go, while Tadashi hugged him and put his hand on Kei's face. When they stopped to grab some air, Yamaguchi's blushed face and desiring eyes staring right into him made Tsukishima blush, more than he already was.

Then they both noticed what they just did and looked away. Then they started laughing. And kissed again.

That same day they decided they were dating.

Tsukishima was glad that he was Yamaguchi's soulmate, that he could protect him from whatever that was harming him and make sure those terrifying scars would never show up on his skin again. He could do something now, something that he wasn't able to do years before. And most of all, he could kiss and hug and count the constellations on Yamaguchi's freckled skin as many times as he could. He could hear that giggle that made his heart warm the moment he heard it and see the blinding smile, that was now much more frequent and he hoped he had something to do with it, as many times as he wanted.

Maybe the universe wasn't so stupid at all, because they found him the best person he could ever expect.

Every night, he wrote on his wrist.

_I love you ★_

Every night, he got the same answer.

_I love you too🌙_


End file.
